KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST 

      TEACHER: Why are you late? 
      WEBSTER: Because of the sign. 
      TEACHER: What sign? 
      WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." 
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      TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math 
      multiplication on the floor? 
      CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! 
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      TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" 
      JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" 
      TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
      JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! 
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      TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? 
      SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! 
      TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
      SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! 
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      TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. 
      GEORGE: Here it is! 
      TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? 
      CLASS: George! 
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      TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have 
      today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
      WILLIE: Me! 
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      TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? 
      TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
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      TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." 
      ELLEN: I is... 
      TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am." 
      ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." 
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      TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" 
      JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the 
      same day, same time." 
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      TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down 
      his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing 
      it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" 
      JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand." 
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      TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say 
      prayers before eating? 
      SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
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      TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is 
      exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? 
      DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! 
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      TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on 
      talking when people are no longer interested? 
      PUPIL: A teacher.